The Poop Deck

Spring Cleaning

Posted by Captain Bud Carpington on April 19, 2011

gordon kirchoff, giant squid, Falls Cable Access, falls cable access, Captain Bud Carpington, captain bud, CapnBud, life is difficult, mannequins, mission, public education, sailing, school bags, sea, ship, stormy weather, the show, The Show, victory at sea

Rough day. The crew is settling in for the night, exhausted. A lot of running about above and below decks today. It's time for spring cleaning and taking inventory.

When you go through your personal belongings, every object has an event or memory attached. It's not just an old picture, scimitar or navel piercing. These objects have certain emotional value. Each one is an adventure and a tale to tell. Mementos of mermaids I've known, battles in exotic locales and of course, my dear school days at Mrs. O'Grady's Maritime Academy. I learned boatloads, to be sure, but mostly seamanship and common sense.

I'll never forget showing up for my Practical Evasions class. It involved escaping the clutches of angry villagers should you be in port and a town turns hostile due to some malfeasance of one sort or another. I had read ahead in the text and that day's lab required stripping down and slathering on lard to evade capture, a common technique. Well, I was a student of some distinction but not for academics. So, I decided to surprise my instructor by coming to class completely prepared. In my zealous dedication, I had forgotten there were no classes that day. Instead, there was  mandatory attendance at the school's fundraising luncheon sponsored by the Elderly Dowager Society.

Steeling my mind as I ran for what was sure to be thunderous approval, I burst through the doors of the meeting hall. Mrs. O'Grady was giving a speech on the outstanding merits of the academy as I slid and flailed wildly on the tile floor, coming to a sloppy halt in the mammoth, glass punchbowl. Being naked and covered in lard makes one impossible to grip and the bowl held me prisoner as I sloshed around. Memories...

I passed Practical Evasions and made quite a name for myself on campus. The adventures continue and I owe it all to Mrs. O'Grady. She seemed overjoyed to see me head on into the world. Her photo on my desk reminds me of bygone glory and inspires me for the thrills to come.

Smooth sailing and best regards,

Captain Bud