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Friday

July 2010

30

With adversity comes strength

Husband finds true appreciation of his wife after losing his job

Menomonee Falls — This honey doesn't mind sharing his wife's -do list, especially now that he has the time.

Jim Wollmer lost his job in August after working 35 years as a product design professional. And instead of wallowing in self-pity, he is learning more about his wife's strength as he goes "through the toughest period of my life since we merged our families back in 2001.

"She's kind of the rock, the foundation," he said of his wife, Kim. "She reminds me of all the priorities."

Blended family shares life

They have a not-so-uncommon-anymore, real-life "Yours, Mine and Ours" family.

Jim, who has lived in the village since 1988, has three children from a previous relationship - Becky, 33, Katy, 31, and Andy, 26.

Kim, who has lived in the village since 2001, also has three children from a previous relationship - Michael, 28, Brian, 25, and Matthew, 17.

They got married in 2002, and together have an 8-year-old daughter, Kelly. Matthew lives at home with them.

Jim said he and his wife have struggled with typical blended-family problems, and a few curve balls as well. He said the home of one of his children burned down this year, and he is helping with the rebuilding of it. His son also lost his job, but has found another.

"Even 33-year-old kids need a helping hand," he said.

And through it all, Jim said, he and his wife remain supportive of each other, and each other's kids.

"I'm always optimistic," she said. "I'm not one to look at the cup and say it is half empty."

Going to the back-up plan

On Aug. 10, Jim went through what thousands of other people around the country have experienced during this economic recession.

"I was part of a downsizing," he said. "It was one of those things."

Jim began his career in product design as an apprentice for Harley-Davidson from 1974 to '76. He then worked at Briggs and Stratton for 21 years before going back to Harley in 1997. He had reached the level of senior product designer.

"They are really cutting back," he said. "You never know why. It is something you'll never know why."

And then he had to tell his wife his position had been the victim of downsizing, to which she responded, "Do you want to go to the zoo?"

"She knew what to do," Jim said.

Even though she said, "I didn't believe it at first."

However, both are planners and had worked out a scenario if Jim lost his job, Kim said.

"We pretty much had our back-up plan in place," she said. "If you have a plan you can do anything."

And money has been coming in.

"Harley has been generous with its severance package," Jim said.

Family economizes

But the severance package payments run out in February, and Jim has been unsuccessful in finding a new job.

"It is an uncertainty," he said. "It has made us hunker down."

Jim spends his mornings applying for jobs, maybe 40 to date.

"There is so much competition," he said. "A lot of companies are bargain shopping."

Which causes difficulties, he said, for someone who had been at a senior level.

In the meantime, the family is cutting back. Vacations are for shorter lengths of time, if at all, and the family does less extravagant things.

"You look for free entertainment," he said.

Kim, who was a paralegal in Pennsylvania, works a few hours a week doing clerical tasks. Jim said she is a Girl Scout leader, carts Matthew around and volunteers at Ben Franklin Elementary School once a week, too.

"I could go back and find work here," she said.

Right now, the plan is for Kim to continue working only a few hours a week. The money, previously put in a kitty for stuff like vacations, is now used as a safety net for the "more necessary extras," Jim said.

Splitting house duties

Being out of work has been a blessing in disguise for Jim, who said he quietly appreciated his wife, but came to realize he needs to be more vocal.

"She does a lot of little things that make it all work," he said. "She doesn't panic, she deals with things. It's really amazing when you get to know her."

Kim didn't know Jim had submitted their story to the local newspaper until she heard him talking on the phone to a reporter. He told her about it after he got off the phone.

"I started crying," Kim said. "I told him that was the nicest thing anyone ever did for me."

She said a friend recently asked her about the amount of time Kim and Jim are spending together.

"We are like best friends," she said. "We get along. I'll miss him when he goes back full time."

Spending more time at home has allowed Jim to help Kim out more.

"I give him half of my jobs," Kim said.

"I've vacuumed more than I think I ever have," Jim said.

But after Jim's submission, Kim said he earned a lot of points in her book.

"Maybe I won't make him vacuum," she said with a laugh.

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